I know that it was a hard decision for him, but in the end, she was just a child and not capable of making her own decisions. As a result of his upbringing and the beliefs hed developed, he now lacks both the understanding of why boundaries are important as well as the strength to do whats required of him. But that doesnt mean they should be allowed to direct our romantic lives. His mom is from Pakistan, and his birth father was from India. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? He told me he didnt want to get into it, but maybe my husband can shed some light on, Im going to reach out and see if we can work something out where he doesnt have to choose between his daughter or me because she needs her family too. MGY3ZjUzYzUyODk3MGI4N2JiYzM3OGE4YjJhZGJlNzZlZDMzNGJhYTcwNzUx Good luck to you 152 Matt Jay Former USAF special operator, lawyer, judge (1987-2010) Author has 5.1K answers and 5.9M answer views 1 y I think if your case the only thing you can do is rotate every other year. ), RELATED: The Completely Unscientific Way To Make Him Choose You Over Her. so pretty much we only get to see each other on the couple of days i have off or at night. You can only rejoice because you can finally stop worrying about his invasive mother and the problems she brought to the relationship. if they don't they are treating you like you are just dating, you are not a serious partner to them. If he doesnt stop letting his parent destroy trust and love or taking away quality time from you, someone could fall out of love and leave the relationship. Every decision he makes has to be approved by his family. I can't picture how awkward that household is. YjRhMDg2ZmE4MDZkZmQzNzc3YmZiMmFiMTUwZjBhM2I5MjY1NDZkZGU4Zjg1 I'm thinking of ending my 4yr. Danielle. You deserve to be with someone who chooses you! I feel at times and most recently that he doesnt love me anymore but he just doesnt know how to break up with me because lately this has been happening a lot and Im tired of fighting, I really love him. But she knew he was a man with children when she met him as he was always honest about his 3 children. i broke up with a boyfriend of 6 yrs for the same reason. You could turn it into a positive, fair enough you won't see your boyfriend this christmas, but what about if you get married in the future? im super annoyed & hurt. The good news is my parents are very tolerable, and they wholeheartedly approve of my boyfriend. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). The Top 4 Different Types Of Breakups And How To Get Over? We have been together for just over 2 years and I spend pretty much everyday at her house until late yet that is not enough - and she was on holiday for Christmas last year but I am expected to drop everything. My boyfriend eventually talked me off the ledge. (I had to wait for a way down the road. OTgzNTVlZjFhNTE4OGMwNjExNjYzNGEyZDYxNDM1Mzc3ZGM4OTRlMjljMzY0 To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Try to have an open and understanding conversation with your daughter. ZmQ3ZTYzN2ZjNjIyNmZiYTc2NzU1Y2Y4MWYwYzNiYWNmZWY2YjQ1YjAxMDA3 Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). Who comes first in a mans life wife or daughter? Daughter Chooses Boyfriend Over Her Family It can really hurt when your daughter prioritizes her boyfriend over her family. In your case, shes focusing on your boyfriend. Doesn't have to be every year!!! I believe it is OK, because he needs some time to catch up with his family. My brother never spent Christmas with his girlfriend, always came home to be with our family. (My boyfriend describes this as generally how arranged marriages go.). Sit down with him and let him it cant continue. Before he and his family ruins your life. HELP! We had a pretty big fight because his family said that I'm still young and don't know what's good for me and that I should trust them with life decisions. I won't even get into how I'm called controlling for voicing my opinion. She has the same words but its for her own family. Now I get along with them all & they eat at my place & Ive been to the sons home. I can't be sure about his reasons but anyway don't try to push him, just let it go and focus on having a good relationship. This article was originally published at PopSugar. He is hurting, and if nothing else, he needs someone who understands what hes feeling right now. And then she left him so she could screw around. When people show you who they are, believe them. M2MwMDY4NmMxNTcyNWNkZGZmYmQ3ZTM4NTE0OGM2MGQ2YzdiYWE2ZjZlMjA4 Thanksgiving isn't such a big deal, but i've already invited him to go with me to my sisters if he doesn't plan on spending it w/ his one an donly brother. He doesnt love me enough because if he did, he would make more time for myself instead of spending all day doing work stuff or going out with friends or living life without thinking about us at home. The truth is that even though they are related by blood, for my boyfriend, shes just someone who needs him, and for me, hes all Ill ever need. I heard those kind of problems from friends Forcing time together or forbidding him to go in order to try to fix your relationship when he clearly values family above all else will not help your relationship at all. Have a talk with him and ask him to hang out with you more often. First of all, you cant make your boyfriend do what he doesnt want to do. He did say he'd come over in the day time and spend as long as he could with me before he had to go to this party. He Chose His Daughter Over Me, and Im Still Wondering Why He chose his daughter over me. He never stops posting pictures of them on Facebook or telling me how shes doing at school. Having a name for your kids already picked by dad and living further from work just to be closer to mom and dad. Ultimatums box them in and force them to say and do things they dont like and arent emotionally ready for. Answer (1 of 13): You can be jealous all you want. & hes still saying we should go. For example, dating is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the faith. If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isn't just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice. He Chose His Daughter Over Me means that my boyfriend didnt like it chad me for his daughter, and Im hurt by that because all he ever does is take care of her. Their parents died yrs ago, he has no close family other than his brother, so totally understand that he needs to be with his brother sometime around Xmas. 1. Well Im afraid I can only provide a biased opinion having experiences of dating websites, when I felt I have been given the cold shoulder in meeting for special occasions close friends or families. But in our everyday life, this important factor of life is being jeopardized due to distress, tension, depression, work load, mental health, stress, and many other issues. We talked about it calmly and nicely, but feel just a little hurt, especially after her daughter invited me to go there for Xmas lunch. Advice from Dr. Laura is, If you are going through this conflict with another person who has children of their own, repeat these words over and over again until they sink in: I love my daughter/son more than anything else in the world. Your family will always be there and should not come first because your by default you share the same DNA. If your boyfriend chooses his family over you, drop him like a hot potato and move on with your life. The only thing seperating us are the miles between our homes. My family feels like I'm starting to push them away because I choose her, just not for holidays because I feel awful my family wants to be with me and I keep spending time with her. MDc1MmMyOWQ5YjE2NTE4ZGE1NWVkNTg3ZjczYWNkMzU1MzA0YjM3MWIzMDE3 and our Quite the contrary, she's sort of just let her son float away like a balloon on a cool, cloudless day. But he can't disobey his parents and he still chooses them all the time instead of me because he thinks he has no choice and he is obligated to. In the interest of privacy the writer's identity will always be kept anonymous. Deep inside, she probably knows shes being controlling and overprotective. this will be your entire life if you stay with him. But don't blame the pooch. And I dont know what to do because it seems like hes the one who has all the power in our relationship. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). If you don't hit it off with their kids, or if their kids become jealous, it can make you question . Think he's perfect for me, love everything about him. for example today there is She terminated the relationship for you because you werent happy with a man who hasnt got his priorities straight. People who always put their family first are common and normal, you cant force them to just stop hanging out with their family because you want them to. Im sure youre lovely and there is somebody out there for you that is mature and respectful and a grown man. Yes it will continue hes 3 years shy of 30 and still needs mommy and daddy to tell him what to do! Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I HATE the holidays! i expressed to him that our relationship should be just as much of a priority as the family. I'm so lonely and I feel so abandoned. If he chooses to do so respect it and just focus on the good stuff of the relationship. Compromise somewhere!!!! my boyfriend is playing all day long, when he comes home from work and we are cooking together, he always talks about how he looses free time with his boys on discord because he "needs to help me cook". Seems very family oriented and his sister really likes me. He was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting the cord any time soon. I see a future with him but now I dont know how to feel or what to do. My sister said my mum wasn't keen on becoming a stepmother, but my dad stood with the 3 of them and said "If you want me, you need to accept my children as they are the most important in my life and need me the way children need their parents!" In the end, I cant change who he chose, so instead of wasting my time and energy, I am focusing on myself because at least then no one will have to choose between their child and me.In this case, it seems clear that they are prioritizing their family obligations over whatever feelings might exist for themselves.. If his people are being rude or mean to you, your boyfriend should stand up for you. here it is almost 1 am & he still out enjoying his day. Im not trying to compete for attention, but it seems like hes more interested in his daughter than me., It doesnt help that were having problems, which just makes things worse because when you argue, the first thing out of my mouth is always, why dont you spend time with your own kid instead? And every single time, he tells me that she needs him too because she has no one else right now.. Everyone makes mistakes, including me and you. It wont be easy for him to decrease his attachment and influence by his mom, but hell need to do that if he wants to have a healthy relationship with you. Thats why he lets his mother do what she wants and allows her to get inside his head and affect his relationship. Maybe it's time for me to stop blaming myself and move on with my life. 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