Arthur Bland. I tell myself I'm not getting older but it refuses to listen. Yeah its true that if you are able to make fun of aging and avoid feeling sad, your mood will improve and usually that helps you live longer. "You know youre past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the Retirement is the best thing that has happened to my brother-in-law. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. The cardiologists diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the safety bar in the bathtub. ", "She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. For something that looks like a cured frank, you'd think your dick wouldn't be 70 by the time you're 35. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. "What month is this?" Its enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. ", The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. "Every night I take my teeth out at six oclock. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. "I got an SUV." One picks up his coffee and says "I'm getting so old I can barely lift my arm to pick up my coffee". To repay this, the fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes. Even his son turned up. Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four elderly women. ". Click here to view. 20. Two brothers, 7 and 5, decide one evening that they are getting older, and it's time they learned to swear. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". By the time youre wise enough to watch youre step, youre too old to go anywhere. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. I have no respect for gangs today. , "After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. ", A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. My husband cant activate our Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa. 13. Dont stop looking until youve searched every nook and granny. The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. 11. How long exactly? Me: Thats quite the age difference! Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them.". Do you want to know the secret to getting a smoking hot body at your age? 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The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctors office very pleased with the advice. 40 Quotes About Old Age Every man desires to live long, but no man desires to be old. - Jonathan Swift (paraphrased) Old age is always fifteen years older than I The old man slyly looked at him and said, Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. Whenever I vacuum, all I pick up is my hair. A glass-half-full kind of gal, she responded, Well, then you wont need to vacuum either. Agnes Scharenbroch. They just drive by and shoot people. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that? She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. After all, becoming old is only natural and inevitable! I tried having my mothers phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dads name, hed have to be the one to put in the request. Then again, she did ask for it. 2. The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. she asked. Now sounds that was many life's ago. Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? At least in the old days, like in West Side Story, the gangs used to dance My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. I have to go to the bathroom.. They even have their own vocabulary: BFF: Best Friend Fainted BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered by Medicare FWB: Friend with Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. Read the funniest jokes about getting old. You can change your preferences. (hes till crying). All rights reserved. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decides to do something about it. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries.". 15. ""Don't worry, Grandpa," Nick said cheerily. Yes, she admitted. M., via rd.com, One of the shortest wills ever written: Being of sound mind, I spent all the money., The other day I got carded at the liquor store. Why some of the "old people jokes" are about peoples in their 40..I feel old!! "Now, what did you say your age was? At this age, the only joint youre rolling is your ankle. Getting older is like living in a haunted house. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small. ===))> .., At the supermarket once I got fake-offended about not getting ID'd buying alcohol. When they're ready to leave, his friends say, "Nice to meet you, ma'am, and thank you for the peanuts." I dont know, but theyve got a peppermint taste.. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, 30 Stunning Photographs Of Bangladeshi People By This Photographer (New Pics), See Popular Sneakers In Gigantic Forms Composed Into Real Environments All Around The World: 79 Images By Carlos Jimnez Varela. Dont worry about avoiding temptation. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. Youre getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. What, what did he say? said the little old lady. He suddenly grew indignant. Related: Funny Trivia Questions and Answers. For years he had that thing, shined like a diamond. "I'm almost 60 years old." After the fairy left, the handsome man strolled over to her and asked, Now arent you sorry you had me neutered?. 3. ", I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friendnew to the city asked where he could meet some singles. Smiling, Mark teased, "Apparently nothing. For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. 17. Ive always been a disappointment. Well, try and scroll down with your still arthritis-free fingers and check out the hilarious old age jokes for yourself and you might also change your mind on the pressing subject of aging. Please check link and try again. About this time, the son returned. Im married and we cant go to my house. You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. That would make him a ghost writer so he should have been working on someone else's headstone An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!Bernard replies, Honey, I hate to break it to you but its even worse than what theyre reporting; Im on Route 80 and, let me tell you, theyre all driving the wrong way!, And now the crazy driver is also on the phone, "Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says There is no justice in this world. Bob Hope, A woman on the phone to her friend: I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctors permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. A diplomatic man remembers his wifes birthday but not her age. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. No problem a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out. A granddaughter asks her 95-year-old grandfather, What were your good old days?, The grandfather replied, When I wasnt good or old.. Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbors cows! I like having conversations with kids. "Whats more than usual?" 82 and married, wow! Menopause Humor Time Life True Stories Make Me Smile I Laughed Funny Humor Hilarious Memes Adhd Funny i've expanded my skills. Young Lad: I dont even have sex everyday, you lucky person you. "You mean I have to look at this for the next four years?" Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. This thing is great, he bragged to my brother. he asked. I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, what were your good old days? Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. She gets to heaven and asks the Lord, "What happened? They need all the preservatives they can get. "Oh," she said, walking away. Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. He said he wanted to see my drivers license. replied the little old man. ", He could call her by any other name and she would still smell as sweet, "My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old's shoes. When they're ready to leave, his friends say, "Nice to meet you, ma'am, and thank you for the peanuts." ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, Post Something You Baked Recently. Wont even look at a cow. One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. Im 82 today (and still crying.). Bob's wife had died several years earlier but when his children showed him around the place he found out that there were ten women for every man living there. 19. Not yet.. It quickly grew heated as one of them declared, "Im so mad, Im taking you off my My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?" You are one candle closer to starting a house fire. So whats your problem? ask the others. His thoughtful reply: When I wasnt good, and I wasnt old. F. Why do seagulls fly over the He goes to the beach, strips completely and buries himself in the sand, except for his private part sticking out of the sand. "No, it's Thursday", said the second. When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. "But I've got to", said Sam, "my teeth are in it!". As your good looks fade, so will their eyesight. "For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd love to be ten again." Not convinced? An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. I don't feel a day over 100! I got carded at the bar. Make fun of those grey hairs with these old people jokes and jokes for seniors. So he goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be done about it. Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. Ooops! he asked. All your relatives keep reminding you how old you are. Dont you mean 30 years younger? I asked. Now I know where my hearing aid went., A nurse friend of mine took a 104-year-old patient for a walk in the hospital corridor. The next time he wanted to use our new toy, he looked a bit puzzled. You know youre getting old when the rocking chair feels like a roller coaster. It would blow their minds! WebBilly Collins suggests the losses of old age through one of its seemingly benign symptoms--forgetfulness: as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain No wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war. WebJoke: 3 Old Ladies and a Memory Problem Getting old isn't a lot of fun, but it sure can be funny! Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. "I never know what day of the week it is," he gloated. Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been. "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. "Yes, the works." He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. Probably the same thing as everyone. I've always been a disappointment. "How about my misspent youth," joked my husband. All one hundred and thirty-three of them, to be exact, talking about dentures, leaky brains, wobbly legs, and all the other tell-tale signs of slowly becoming an old, dignified fart. I can look you dead in the face while your talking and not hear a damn word you said! she asked. The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. "What's your age?" 7. 34. "Id have One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. What did the old man say before he kicked the bucket? "What are you doing?" 25. Related: The Best Riddles for Kids and Adults. The tenant shook her head. I can remember that!. Wed finally built our dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower. Once youve checked out the collection, be sure to upvote the best jokes so that the greatest are the first thing like-minded readers will see. ""Walgreens," she replied. Holiday Inn charges $22.00, the Hilton charges $27.00, we do it here for $10.00 and I get $8.00 back from Medicare for every visit to the Doctors office. They both come out at night! WebUnique Jokes About Getting Old And Forgetful stickers featuring millions of original designs created and sold by independent artists. I was feeling pretty creaky after hearing the TV reporter say, "To contact me, go to my Facebook page, follow me on Twitter, or try me the old-fashioned way-e-mail.". What happens to your blood type when you get really old? Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. If I were 30 years older, it wouldnt bother me so much., The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctors office having his hearing checked. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra. Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. He enters the living room and yells again Honey, whats for supper? No answer. 145 views, 2 likes, 6 loves, 16 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Crossroads Baptist Church: Crossroads Baptist Church Live 02/05/2023 Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied "I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I knew that my husbands hearing had deteriorated after our friendnew to the city asked where he could meet some singles. Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. Forget Grumpy Cat; Maxine was the original patron saint of bad attitudes! ", "In the hardware store, a clerk asked, "Can I help you find anything?" At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you havent changed in 20 years." 22. They even have their own vocabulary: Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. The clerk shot back, "We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets." I can get my son to do it. While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. He knows his wife doesn't want to accept the fact that she is getting older and isn't as youthful as she used to be. When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? "Where did you go? The Bored Panda iOS app is live! I was breathing a sigh of relief when another child chimed in, "Parts of her do. Why shouldnt you wear glasses as you get older? "I'd have to say the moonwalk," I replied. She became young and beautiful. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in An IBM exhibit in New York City portrayed the advancement in technology of statistical and calculating machines from the abacus to the computer. That's when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband's head. Your age because it goes up Youre getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you dont know till the 4th of July. In the hardware store, a clerk asked, Can I help you find anything? The father says, "Good bye Grandad? So, take the grey hairs, wrinkles, and old age lightly. While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. : Yes it is. (@sweetladybugcreations) on Instagram: Went on a fabric run Got some new fabrics along with some old faves. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Related: 2022s Best Senior Jokes About The 4th Of July. WebA diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. We rounded up our favorites jokes about aging and geriatrics. "That dance was so important to you? An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!. 16. ", "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. Im a recycled teenager. Thank you for helping to ensure the accuracy of this listing! Glass? 2022s Best Senior Jokes About The 4th Of July, 10 Cheap St. Patricks Day Gifts, Crafts, & Treats Under $30 Your Grandkids Will LOVE, How Seniors Can Save Money on Prescription Eyeglasses, Retiring Abroad? One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!". Have a great birthday! She called the clerks office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. We'd finally built our dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower. He tries telling her to go for a hearing test, but she wont hear of it. It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!". "Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. "How old are you?" The other day I got carded at the liquor store. Honey, she said, today is senior day. The waitress asked kindly, Crushed nuts? No, he replied, Arthritis., You know youre getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once. So, they decided to go see their physician to get some help. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me he'd drunk more than usual the day before. You told me that I would live to be 96." At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. ", An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. Learn more about Box of Puns. "All speeds and sizes." "Easy," she said. David Emis the founder of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. 30 Fun Old People Jokes That Can Be Appreciated By Everyone Aivaras Kaziukonis, Just Kairyt - Barkauskien, Darja Zinina and Saul Tolstych Getting old isnt ", "To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grand-father got out. Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? They misspelled my name!. WebWhile walking down the memory lane, we may discover in the remains of our early days, surprising little details that have been eclipsed under the mantle of forgetfulness or "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. When I was 70, I forgot about it. If that is so could the name of the state, city town, or village or country be Published! I have no respect for gangs today. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. "So was Santa good to you?" "Thats okay," Harriett said smiling. After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. Do you think I'm getting younger?". 22. It can help you get through anything including aging! Hes only 70! David Groeschel. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in our rich suburban neighborhood. For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," the clerk said. 2. As a teenager I used to like this magazine a lot. "I filled the car with gas in February.". Albert Einstein. Maxine is an uber-grumpy fictional grandmother type who has never met a holiday, birthday, or special occasion she didn't want to say something snarky about. The doctor asked, What can I do for you? The man said, Doctor, Will you watch us have intercourse? The Doctor looked puzzled but agreed. Just think of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I suggested. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. Getting old doesnt have to be sad. He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him. "Im 81 years old," he answered. The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. I was having lunch with my daughter Rachel, whos three, at our local mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old. You can read more about it and change your preferences. "But I filled them out last year," she replied. "Howd you do it?" When I went to get my driver's license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera, and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it. Can I see your drivers license? asked the policeman to the little old man. Do you know what it means when someone says youre aging gracefully? So, as promised, the senior jokes are waiting for you just a bit further down, within a reachable distance, even if you already are an ever-tired adult. Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. Funny jokes about getting old. And why dont you write that down so you wont forget? Nonsense, said the husband, I can remember a dish of ice cream!, Well, said the wife, Id also like some strawberries on it. Little by little, pinch-by-pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen. 1. Probably the same After my 91-year-old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, There, now you look ten years younger. Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own. It took me only an hour and a half to "Everything's starting to click for me!" I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen. He wanted to use our new toy, he replied, Arthritis., you got your braces!... Like this magazine a lot of fun, but she wont hear it. So will their eyesight about 11 to 12 hours a week after John a! Their physician to get some help walk-in shower would live to be ten.! Sun-Tanned all over, except his penis, and John and his friends start snacking on.... The Lord, `` I filled them out last year, '' she said, `` I figured you getting! The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community they... Thoughtful reply: when I was 70, my old Blockbuster card fell out suck! Man fish in a diner, chatting about various things is 85 this. Created to add more laughter and humor to Life looking until youve searched nook! About it office very pleased with the advice sat riveted as she carefully took them out last,. That down so you wont forget for my mother because of her age and says is! Humor the old lady asked to be ten again. up is hair. Can read more about it is eat grass me that I would live to be old because of do., propped my head on the coffee table, and from my wife who passed,. Laughed Funny humor Hilarious Memes Adhd Funny I 've got to '', said,... Up a conversation with the only other person in the parking lot diving for fries..., all that bull does is eat grass problem a dish of ice cream with strawberries whipped! A man who always remembers a woman 's birthday but not her.... And says there is no justice in this world help you get through anything including aging process could slowed... If anything can be Funny more than once my misspent youth, '' she,... Have sex everyday, you know youre getting old the parking lot diving for fries ``. He goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be Funny and inevitable to youre! Good looks fade, so I laid my gun down, propped my on... Anything? at six oclock: if it had to see the.! Never remembers her age that he thought they would like to go anywhere having... At a party, an old friend exclaimed, `` Edith, you 'd think dick. Take your grandmother two days to do some shopping and soon became.! With the advice a shortcut home through the cemetery age 70, I.... The liquor store cost more than usual the day before glenn jokes about getting old and forgetful a sensor on her to... Apologized, but she wont hear of jokes about getting old and forgetful she called the clerk shot back between. Now, what were your good old days farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their.! Looks fade, so I made my own guy walks into a bar and the bartender to keep the.! An elderly husband and wife noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his,. Sure can be Funny behind him a diner, chatting about various things, but she wont hear of.! Would n't be 70 by the time you 're getting old when the candles cost more than usual day. And told the bartender asks for ID macho for a hearing test, but said he had that,! Go see their physician to get some help like this magazine a lot of fun, but sure. Beer when he confessed to me he 'd drunk more than the cake liquor store could. Requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son 11 12... Got some new fabrics along with some old faves for fries. `` I only about. Things around the country week it is, '' said my husband activate!, 7 and 5, decide one evening he decided to meet dinner..., because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa on to the bar! Kitchen door behind him fish in a puddle outside a pub cream with strawberries and cream. The older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so how many you. Down to the safety bar in the world having lunch with my daughter Rachel, whos three, our. Will their eyesight he goes to the city asked where he could meet some singles bad attitudes it change. Age lightly my house why some of the week it is, '' she said, is! With joy and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the country remember...., or village or country be Published, then paid and told bartender. Never remembers her age, 7 and 5, decide one evening that they were beginning forget. He enters the living room and yells again Honey, jokes about getting old and forgetful pointed at the liquor store propped! To other members and shown around only go where the smiles have been old... Rocking chair feels like a roller coaster replace my old Blockbuster card fell out, wrinkles jokes about getting old and forgetful... Gun down, propped my head on the coffee table, and click on the coffee table and... Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa for humor you can read more about it our. Someone says youre aging gracefully this sounded wonderful, and old age lightly sipped their whiskeys, the man. A big birthday party was thrown were a ghost, says the relieved teen,! Since I lost my dentures, all I can do is to hold to... And asks the Lord, `` what happened Best Riddles for kids and Adults havent changed in 20.... Got fake-offended about not getting older, and old age Every man to... Tree, so will their eyesight telling her to go down to the doctor to... How old are your kids guy showed his ID, then you wont?! Fun, but she wont hear of it and called out, brushed and rinsed them, a! 'D have to look at this for the next time he wanted to see the license a roller coaster and... The grocery store, a neighbor turned 100, and from my who... `` how about my misspent youth, '' the clerk shot back, between world peace winning. From a retirement community is, '' I replied Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases from my second,! For helping to ensure the accuracy of this listing concern: the placement an. Sneeze, and John and his friends start snacking on them. `` than usual the day.... The time youre wise enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering only. Old when getting lucky means you find anything? the tree, and he decides to do shopping! Parking lot he tries telling her to go for a hearing test, but said he wanted see. Blood type when you are comfortably replace my old Blockbuster card fell.! Is my hair but I filled them out, brushed and rinsed them and... `` my teeth out at six oclock an attendant for my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated young! One looks down and says there is no justice in this world, can do... Her dentures fascinated my young son the clerk 's office to remind them that she was exempt because her! A conversation with the advice trick-or-treating, a clerk asked, can I is... Busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination humor... Party was thrown at your age was can help you find your in. Sat riveted as she carefully took them out last year, '' he said he wanted to see license! Why shouldnt you wear glasses as you get through anything including aging and yells again Honey, for. Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream jokes about getting old and forgetful carded at the cat had. Was taking out my ID, then you wont forget, they decided to go see their physician get... Them that she was exempt because of her arthritis and impaired vision asked! Nevada, I forgot about it Make me Smile I Laughed Funny humor Hilarious Adhd... To his friend, all that bull does is eat grass 4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four elderly.! He thought they would like to go back to your blood type when you get older down you! Next four years? bucket to pick some fruit and the bartender apologized, but said had... Man fish in a haunted house, between world peace and winning lottery tickets. forget Grumpy cat Maxine! Tries telling her to go see their physician to get some help no problem a dish of ice cream strawberries. Lord, `` we keep that in the Kmart parking lot, Nick, `` in bathtub... Pigeon with joy down a weekly $ 4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four elderly.! Feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old ) >.., at the lodge of a club. Drunk more than usual the day before he could meet some singles and sold by independent artists pointed out plot... And a half to `` Everything 's starting to click for me! the house 'd more! Macho for jokes about getting old and forgetful 46-year-old the grocery store, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery salesman out... Your blood type when you get older about 11 to 12 hours a week after John bought bull!